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Writer’s Cramp is the blog and site for B. Jenne’ Hall, writer, genius, and pathological optimist. She’s written her first book, is working on her second, and she’s trying to get published. Which from all accounts seems to be as approximately attainable as the gift of flight, but who doesn’t love a challenge?

Entries in fandom (3)

Thursday
Aug122010

On women's fashions in an imaginary world, and AU crossover fic possibilities

Oh my, how has it been more than a month since I last posted? Well, it’s summer, and of course busy. I’m behind on everything, including writing, unfortunately. It goes like that sometimes. Sigh.

I have a long post percolating about e-books and another about self-publishing, but haven’t even started writing them yet, so who knows if I’ll get to them or not. In the meantime, here’s a little something to put a smile in your day.

The setup: Cat was giving me feedback on Chapter 16, which included the scene where Grant, Lucius, and Tatiana go undercover, so to speak. As tends to be the case in our online exchanges, hilarity ensued.

Cat: I find it oddly endearing and hilarious that both Grant and Lucius have a sense of nice women’s wear.

Me: Inorite? Can you see them at the seamstress, picking out fabrics for her? Grant would be all, “You’re a winter, orange is not flattering on you. No, that pink is hideous and satin is for prostitutes. Put it back.” And Lucius would be, “Now, Grant…if she likes the pink, let her try it on. It might look better off the hanger. Oh Tatiana, dear, you need better undergarments if you’re to pull that one off. Foundations, dear, foundations.”

Cat: OMG *dies* Grant and Lucius host a very special edition of What Not to Wear…in HELL.

Me: YES THIS! Tatiana would like some dress not realizing it has a low cut bodice, and Grant’s all, “Sorry, but no. You don’t have the bosom for that.” And she’d be all embarrassed but rather than admit that, she’d get mad at him and tell him to go suck a goat, and he’d be like, “For someone who doesn’t want to dress like a whore, you sure talk like one.” Lucius would have to break it up by distracting her with pretty lace gloves, and then a dress with lots of lacy ruffles would catch her eye and she’d be, “OOOH PRETTY” and then “SHUT UP GRANT IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE YOUR GRANDMOTHER’S DOILIES VOMITED ALL OVER IT!” Oh man. Now I have a whole new series to write.

Cat: Let the fanfiction begin….!!!!

Friday
Jun252010

How an author reads Amazon.com reviews

Hee! Can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure (pain?) of reading reader reviews of my own work on Amazon, but I can completely sympathize with the agony of it, the constant refreshing and the internal struggle not to hunker over the keyboard all “SOMEONE IS BEING WRONG ON THE INTERNET” and type out a crazed reply to that horrible unfair review from someone who clearly didn’t understand your genius and whose very literacy is questionable.

Not that I’d do that. I’m way more mature.

But I still lol’d at this:

Saturday
Feb062010

I heart fandom

Only fandom would come up with this:

An RPF Yuletide fic about a taping of “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me!” during the zombie apocalypse. The only thing that would be better would be if the WWDTM crew acted this out during a pledge drive.